@kirkfox: Pet peeve. Toilets that flush 4 me the moment I stand. I'd like to see the work I've done before it's violently ripped from my view. #life
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@CornOnTheGoblin: We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food "Are you nuts?" Dear God
@rotten_mama: Parenting 101 8: I'm worried dolphins will be become endangered. Me: Every time you don't clean your room a dolphin dies.
@mattgallo123: I wish they'd just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell "alright!".