@markysumm: Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it's 35 but just looks 25.
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@LeonEarlgrey: I'm like that guy at the beginning of infomercials that is unable to do simple shit, i just burns everything and i cant figure out blankets.
@ManvAlcohol: What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
@FatherWithTwins: *co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit "close door" button* *I miss, hit "open door"* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course