@markysumm: Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it's 35 but just looks 25.
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@melpraktis: When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
@Book_Krazy: New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT
@TEXASVETERAN: I sing like Sinatra and have the brain of Einstein. I think that's why girls call me Frankenstein.