@sixfootcandy: Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art.
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@kelkulus: Apple has solved laptop theft by making them obsolete by the time thieves get out the door.
@BromanConsul: "Science HAS gone too far," I whisper, gazing out across the sea of boneless chickens slithering through the farmyard. The Colonel laughs.
@longwall26: Pretty funny that turtles are always in uniform. It's like lighten up, turtles. The war is over.
@Brampersandon_: GF: What a perfect night ME: It gets better *bends on 1 knee* Will you... GF: OMG yes! ME: *puts Space Jam DVD on her finger* put this in?