@QwertyJones3: Pictionary is the perfect game to play whenever you need an excuse to punch your friend in the face.
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@iAmDelFreaky: I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat.
@tamytoo2: Actual text from 17 y/o son: kin u com bi nd swoop me? I hope he means hit him with my car, because that's the plan
@Mikecanrant: T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys.
@lilgapeach30: Men. Can't live with 'em...can't finish this joke unless I wanna be single the rest of my life.