@SortaBad: Pilot: Hi folks, I thought it'd be nice to speak to you out here instead of over the intercom. Unrelated, is anyone on board a locksmith?
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@WheelTod: When I can't afford strobe lighting for my house parties, I just ask everyone to blink in time to the music instead.
@FilthyRichmond: Parenting tip: Unplug the microwave before dropping acid because you'll inevitably put the baby in there for safe keeping.
@ehchino: [Couples counseling] "It's not good to keep these things bottles up, you know" Okay, fine *opens jar of wasps*