@SortaBad: Pilot: Hi folks, I thought it'd be nice to speak to you out here instead of over the intercom. Unrelated, is anyone on board a locksmith?
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@urgeekisshowing: Personal trainer: So what's your goal? Me: I wanna look good in pictures that I'm not the one taking
@papasuncle: Am I the only one who just buys a new printer when the ink is gone? Also, does anyone want to make a sweet printer fort?
@FeelingMervis: Find someone who can make you happy, like a doctor or pharmacist....basically anyone who has access to mood-enhancing drugs.
@turtledumplin: Boss left his email open. Me: *looks around, send email to district manager "i love you" Now we wait