@ThingsJackDigs: PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds
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@melgabored: BIDEN (whispering) Barack. Psst, Barack. Barack, turn around. OBAMA Joe, I'm a little busy. BIDEN I love you.
@PaulyPeligroso: You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden.
@Playing_Dad: [Noah's Ark] Noah: How will the animals reproduce? God: You took a male & female, right? Noah: YOU SAID BRING 2 YOU DIDN'T SAY 1 OF EACH SEX