@hazelmotes1: Pink Camouflage: for when you go pheasant hunting on the old cotton candy plantation.
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@hellohappy_time: Me: [shaking uncontrollably watching political satire] Her: are you alright? Me: YES THIS IS HOW I RELAX NOW
@goldengateblond: Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs? It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.