@amazymay72x: Me: Will you- Hubs: No Me: Can you- Hubs: Nope Me: Are you- Hubs: Oh no Me: Sex? Hubs: Yes Me: Oh hell no..... Communication is important.

@ObscureGent: Can't go to sleep. I'm not sure if I should blame the cup of coffee I had at noon or vintage clown doll sitting at the foot of my bed.

@LizHackett: Keen silence from a dinner guest as she looks across the living room and realizes I made her bridesmaid dress into a dog bed.

@TouchOfAlchemy: Heckling someone at their third wedding automatically removes you from their fourth wedding invitee list The more you know

@Bob_Heller: "May I have my surgery badge, Scout Master?" "Um, there's no such thing." "There was no such thing as a duck squirrel til now. Badge me!"