@WheelTod: Will I understand The Matrix if I haven’t seen The Matrviii? Will I understand sex if I’ve never had seix?

@QuiteQuietOne: I just peed in my bath. But don't worry, I won't drink the water. - 4 year old logic

@JKickinit30: *quits smoking weed to remember where I hid my weed*

@flashember: [1st Day after wildebeests take over] I'm safe in my house [Day 7] Thought I heard clattering [Day 21] THEY CAN OPEN DOORS WITH THEIR HOOVES

@Swishergirl24: People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.