@junejuly12: Playing dead for the alarm clock doesn't seem to be working
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@themorris23: *Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL
@panmidwest: ME: omg I love your accent! Say that again! MY AUSTRALIAN WIFE: You're shallow and selfish. I'm leaving you and taking the kids.
@daemonic3: Son? "Yes dad?" If they ever put me on my death bed... I want you to... "Yes?" Tell those idiots to put me on a life bed instead wtf