If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@junejuly12: Playing dead for the alarm clock doesn't seem to be working
@WildeThingy: Gift horse "My gums are bleeding."
Dentist "Well this is a professional dilemma..."
@Kyle_Lippert: Being popular on Twitter is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
@murrman5: [looking at wife's tombstone]
today would've been our anniversary
*falls to knees*
why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me
@Try2StopME: If you're the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.