@heidi420x: Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
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@Laser_Cat: [skywriting] Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit.
@SatansTongue: Horton hears a who Horton hears a what Horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady Horton is listening to Eminem
@joeheenan: I've discovered my home doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that walking down the stairs thing behind the couch
@gerryhallcomedy: When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date.