@david8hughes: Moana is my favourite movie about The Rock continually trying to drown a little girl.
@jimmytorosian: Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess.
Murderer: I didn't do nothin'
Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer.
@_NTFG_: COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
ME: "So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."
@NakedHangover: If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
@AnOrangeSNES: I'm like Pac-Man because I travel in the dark to Dippin' Dots stands to eat them, all while getting chased by members of the Ku Klux Klan.
COMMENTS