@KateWhineHall: Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.
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@david8hughes: [overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that
@ericsshadow: [me telling a joke] guy wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat: I don't understand. ME: There's probably a lot you don't understand.
@Terdoh: Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their wealth, Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.