@KateWhineHall: Playing mini-golf with your family is a fun way to spend thirty-two dollars to watch your kid throw 18 tantrums in a row.
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@MommaUnfiltered: Just text my husband to tell him he left his phone behind & someone is calling him. And now someone's texting him.
@mortimermaiden: *signing sign in sheet* (to myself): This will be worth a lot once I'm famous. Hospital Nurse: Alright let's get that pea out of your ear.