@mstluvstrinkets: Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to "make elephant! Now teapot!" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball.
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@1followernodad: Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages.
@LindaInDisguise: Him: Productive conference call? Me: Hell yeah. I painted my toes, posted 6 pictures on IG, and got in one solid nap.
@buhsbaby_baby: One time I invited a guy over for dinner but I didn't feel like cooking so I just poured us each a bowl of cereal really romantically.