@mstluvstrinkets: Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to "make elephant! Now teapot!" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball.
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@Parentpains: "She must be shy" is probably what I say to myself the most when a woman abruptly moves across the country after talking to me.
@notalogin: Romantic cop: Here, I brought you a flower. Competitive about everything cop: Big deal. I brought you a flowest.
@thepunningman: Airport Security: Please remove your shoes Man: Don't be ridiculous, I'm no terrorist AS: Sir, do you want to use the bouncy castle or not?