@CatherineLMK: Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ianduhig: "I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
@AdamTheLobster: I always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. I bet they could afford a house if they werent drinking money all the time.
@Swishergirl24: I just found out that the only thing you need to apply for a marriage license is your ID and an idiot.