@mjkspeaks: Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something.
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@squirrel74wkgn: [slowly removing special glasses] Me (looking left): Bob, that eclipse was amazing Bob (taps my right shoulder): Hey, I'm over here
@ImSarahobo: Me:Did you have a ruff day? Dog: Me:What? That was funny! Dog: Me:Do you not like puns? Dog: Me:I think I'm high. Dog:Did you smoke my weed?
@CheryeDavis: Sure I'll join your Cause on Facebook...Right after I jump out of an airplane without a parachute...