@mjkspeaks: Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something.
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@sliver_of: I can't commit to plans with friends who wear fitbits. -"No, I don't want to take the stairs again, you psycho."
@thatUPSdude: Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels.
@Gooooats: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Also, this is America so they all have guns.
@chuuew: LIFE HACK: At the end of a night out, go to a Domino's Pizza, order a delivery then catch a ride with the driver. Dinner + transport home!