@imdaintyaf: Please don't put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mamatomy3: My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He's told every other person on earth and I didn't want y'all to be out of the loop.
@amishschool: Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying "keys" in case I thought they were llamas.
@anylaurie16: 7 yo son asked how Grandpa got lung cancer. I said, "Well, he quit a long time ago, but for many many years, Grandpa played Minecraft."