@imdaintyaf: Please don't put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body.
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@thatUPSdude: Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home
@daemonic3: GOOD COP: He won't talk except in sign language BAD COP: I just cut off his left hand BAD PUN COP: He still has the right to remain silent
@shaunmoynihan: An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey...