@ariscott: Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@envydatropic: You know the jack in a box that scared the life out of you when you were a child? That's me as an adult cooking with my smoke detector
@AwkwardComedy: "Password is incorrect" *resets password* "New password cannot be the same as the old password"
@crouton_futon: "Oh shit I murdered someone" "You should turn yourself into the police" "Great idea!" *puts on badge and hat* "Looks like a suicide to me"
@WarrenHolstein: FUN PRANK: Replace signs for Red Cross Blood Drive line with "iPhone 6 in Stock" and watch the shenanigans ensue.