@mdob11: 'Please, I need this', I whisper as I try to steal a baby goat from the petting zoo.
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@mallelis: we put a man on the moon but we can't keep him there. he keeps coming back. you stay on the moon. you stay there.
@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?
@BuckyIsotope: [deathbed] Son….come closer “Yes dad?” We need a new man of the house “I’d-” *presses fake mustache into his hands* Give this to your sister