@mdob11: 'Please, I need this', I whisper as I try to steal a baby goat from the petting zoo.
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@TheDreamGhoul: BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*
@squirrel74wkgn: [drive-thru at 2am] Whaazzuupp!? Lemme gets 12 tacos, 6 burritos, and a Diet Coke. Booyah! Neighbor's mailbox: ...
@withanewname: "Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees" "DAD?!" [next day] "Where you going with that broom handle?" "Checkin for squirrels"
@SatansTongue: *puts little Santa hat on cat* Hahaha Santa claws *puts little Santa hat on dog* Hahaha Santa paws