@Rollinintheseat: Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making.
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@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend took me to dinner and insisted I order my food in a robot voice, so I took him to bed and insisted he make Chewbacca noises.
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs magic lamp, genie appears* "You get 2 wishes." I wish I got 3 wishes. "Your wish is granted." Nice, nice. "You have 2 left."
@KingPatrick24: The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.