@Rollinintheseat: Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Quartzjixler: I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal.
@KenJennings: DINNERTIME FOOD IDEAS FROM MY SON "Can we put Nutella on our salmon and call it salmonella?" This has been DINNERTIME FOOD IDEAS FROM MY SON
@Sarcasticsapien: Rejecting someone by saying "you deserve someone better" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them.
@Goldishocks: Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom.