@KimmyMonte: Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH
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@aPunch2theJunk: Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement.
@AngelaEhh: I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding.
@GrabTheWEness: I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa.
@samalmightysam: Overweight people know they're overweight, tall people know they're tall, why is it that stupid people don't know what they are?