@KimmyMonte: Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH
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@FeelingMervis: I've had intimate problems all my life. I just can't get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind.
@Matty_Softmitts: I confuse "playing dead" with "playing dumb" so if I ever encounter a bear I'll probably be like "Listen, I don't even know how I got here."
@Ginlicker: Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!
@DillDoes: "How's your sexual history?" Well doc, if i had to summarize it in one word it would be "deletable"