@fro_vo: please please tell me that benedict cumberbatch's middle initial is Q
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@AlexRogaski: [Me as 911 Operator] *phone rings* I wait for it to stop ringing and text back "what's up"
@SteveSuckington: How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
@causticbob: At a job interview "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker" "Can you give me an example?" "Yes, when do I start?"