@FilthyRichmond: Please refrain from telling elderly election volunteers to "work that poll".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@markleggett: My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing "Yeah, shake that shit…"
@BuckyIsotope: *visits new girlfriend's house for 1st time* "Make yourself at home" Great. Thanks! *I crawl into the closet and begin sobbing loudly*
@leontymccarthy: I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were you on the night of the 5th?" "Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape?" [leans in] "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."