@seejaylinco: please stop asking me to change my password, i'm getting tired of renaming my cat all the time
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@AngelaEhh: Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body? *flashes back to ex *shudders
@truegritrumble: SPOUSE: No. ME: It’s just a costume. SPOUSE: You’re not going to your parents’ Halloween party as “the child they wished they had.”
@daemonic3: [grocery store] Ok, milk... Check! Eggs... Check! Tomatoes... Check! "Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"