@seejaylinco: please stop asking me to change my password, i'm getting tired of renaming my cat all the time
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@juliussharpe: Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
@McKnightyBoo: My 17yo pretends he doesn't understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you're finally a man
@iamspacegirl: Me: oh hi! Did you come over because I'm sad? How do you always know when I need you? Cat: get me my damn jingle mouse. Me: I love you too