@jordan_stratton: Please stop telling me how long your baby is in inches. I need something more visually relatable. Oh, your baby was 3.5 hot dogs long? Cool.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents? Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano?
@Try2StopME: Always trust the judgements of a man who honestly answers to the question 'What's up?'
@Flattliner: Whoever said that blood is thicker than water is plainly a) Fond of stating the obvious, and b) Not a member of my family.
@bonehugsnirony: The first person who started winking at others was probably the creepiest human ever.