@Vice_Queen: Please stop telling me how you wish you had my curly hair. You don't know the struggle of waking up looking like Mufasa.
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@bornmiserable: "I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you and - oh sorry, wrong number." - Liam Neeson in Mistaken
@rachxthompson: me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia
@brynnester: My wife likes to make love with Barry Manilow in the background. It's as awkward for him as it is for me
@LoveNLunchmeat: [reading death threat] *shrugs* Anyone with spelling this bad would definitely botch a murder.