@Vice_Queen: Please stop telling me how you wish you had my curly hair. You don't know the struggle of waking up looking like Mufasa.
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@charliedelta7: I taught my 4yo how to spell 'beer' so he'll stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge.
@__MICHAELJ0RDAN: Its like they say, don't judge a apple by its color because it might be a orange.
@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.
@TheRealNickKay: [MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.