@krisv_723: Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. "I'd like to talk to you about modern science "
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@findmydolls: It's cute that kids think they're safer with the light on, when actually it makes you more vulnerable and easier to spot.
@dubstep4dads: *counting sheep before bed* *jesus walks in your room* "I noticed there weren't any black sheep. what's up man. we gonna have a problem?"
@TheBoydP: [two coworkers walk into my office] Coworkers: Hey! It's your two favorite people here to ask you a question! Me: Where?