@dave_cactus: Plot twist: The Rock isn't Kid Rock's real dad.
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@BiscuitFloater: Pro tip: Next time you're at a bar, go up to a woman & whisper "Hey, wanna get outta here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.
@jordan_stratton: ME: You're saying I'm not smart enough for this job? BOSS: Well, yes. ME: [points to computer] Just because I can't use the typewriter TV?
@Darlainky: Kids today will never know what it's like to have a 3rd grade teacher who teaches every subject and even serves as dentist on fluoride day.