@johnofah: Pluto wasn't even a planet for a full year on Pluto. Do you ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself.
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@QwertyJones3: [Halftime speech] Ok guys, we're down 56-0, but I see the problem. There's a typo in my game plan. It should say "tackle", not "tickle".
@BMCarbaugh: At my funeral, I want the organist to start playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" really slowly, until everyone is staring at the coffin in dread
@bornmiserable: MEN: if your date is cold, don't just stand there; be a gentleman and allow her to cut you open so she can crawl inside and keep warm