@JohnLyonTweets: Point of etiquette: When attending a chainsaw massacre, don’t spend the entire time chainsawing one person. Get out there and mangle.
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@jimmytorosian: *Rubs lamp* *Nothing happens* Where's the genie? *Takes off lampshade* What's wrong with this thing?
@panmidwest: EXECUTIVE: Calling our store "Bed & Bath" isn't working. How can we take our branding to the next level? BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: I have an idea...
@SwoonTwang: I don't have tinted windows on my car because if people don't like watching me dance, they can tint their own goddamn windows.