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@IamEnidColeslaw: *points at houseplant*
no, YOU have a drinking problem!!
@CornOnTheGoblin: me: [performing autopsy] so I've been practicing my ventriloquism
assistant: now's not the time
corpse: aw come on
@NeinQuarterly: A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as "Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."
@Ygrene: [being murdered by cows]
more like (finger quotes) "moodered" amirite
[the other farm animals immediately join in, even some corn is mad]
@FloodyHippie: You look like the type of person who would try to write a check for a drug deal.
@UNTRESOR: If video games taught me anything it's that you don't need to work because there's precious gems just laying around everywhere.