@michael_hendrix: Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: [dj voice] "What's up Dad Party!" *dads go nuts* "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?!?" [dads in unison] DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT
@MattElGato: Have you found Jesus? No? Me neither. I think we lost him near the border. God, I hope he's ok. He had like all the cocaine with him.
@IamEnidColeslaw: trying to get through to Mozart on the Ouija board I really want him to listen to the Thong Song
@AndyRichter: In all honesty, my new dating service, "Well You're Not So Great Yourself" hasn't really taken off like I'd hoped.