@michael_hendrix: Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
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@InternetHippo: A witch cursed Tom Brady to win football games until he dies. All he wants is a quiet life with his family but every Sunday he blacks out like a werewolf and commits unspoken evils on the field
@bornmiserable: You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids.
@littlestp123: boys love girls who go barefoot in the summer and comment on the texture of grass and say "ouch rocks" when walking on rocks