@ojedge: 'Pop Goes The Weasel' is my favourite song about over-inflating your mammals.
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@HellisWorthit: My spanish class in high school should have had a bit less "Where is the bathroom" and a bit more "She was dead when we got here".
@SortaBad: Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? "I'm not. that. innocent." *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*
@jazmasta: Dear iPhone, I have typed "haha" like a million times, but yet you continually give me "haga", "hsha", "gaga", "hahss", "hahs" I hate you
@iwearaonesie: *sees cars lined up outside church* wife: Is that a funeral or a wedding? me: What's the difference?