@ojedge: 'Pop Goes The Weasel' is my favourite song about over-inflating your mammals.
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@VerifiedDrunk: Me: I want to take you home and drink you up baby Case of beer: I have a boyfriend
@WGladstone: When God closes a door, he opens a window. So God's pretty clearly getting high in his dorm room.
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Honestly I'm so shit faced I have no idea.
@bridger_w: If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing