@wolfpupy: popcorn, or as cerebral smart minds such as myself refer to it 'popped corn', is the number #1 food of watching things
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@MUMSIEesq: If my 3YO's fortune was "you will eat the paper inside the cookie and then cry about it for 2 hrs," this Chinese restaurant is VERY accurate
@Reverend_Scott: wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing giraffe? me measuring the ceiling: no idea.
@MikeDrucker: If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, "WITCH!"
@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it