@MichaelGoffLA: Pot has never been proven harmful to humans, but the way it makes those huge holes in the street has to give you pause.
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@_ShutUpKate: *gets eaten by a shark* At funeral: "She died doing what she loved...*sob*...feeding the animals."
@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?
@SteveKoehler22: So many designer dogs now- Cavapoos, labradoodles, chugs ... When is someone going to cross a Bulldog and Shih Tzu ? That's Bullshit.
@SadPeruna: Get a TATTOO they said! A rock band tattoo would be the BEST they said! Creed will be popular FOREVER they said!