@_steamy_mac: Pour some sugar on me. More. Keep going. Okay, now bricks.
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@archerenemy: Twitter...because if it can't be described in 140 characters or less, did it really ever happen?
@causticbob: On this day eleven years ago, Greece won Euro 2004. Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros.
@: I put my fitbit on my ankle so that when I'm out in public I look like a felon who escaped house arrest and people won't want to talk to me