@prodigalsam: Poured my cat some almond milk & now she has bangs & drives a Prius.
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@eyeswidebutt: [on phone] mom I need u to pick me up from the restaurant right now *whispers* no the date is going terrible, she pronounced it 'pokey-man'
@TitaniumToplass: Just wrote "except for you, spiders >:(" on my Welcome mat so that should be the end of that
@Smooheed: *puts on sexy underwear and high heels* *grabs whip* *flicks whip* *searches for scissors to extricate whip from hair*
@Tarrigan: Spider van Spider van How do spiders drive a van? 10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go? Get in. Get in the Spider Van.