@tastefactory: Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??
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@QwertyJones3: [kid watching an episode of The Flintstones for the first time] "They made a show based on vitamins? This is dumb."
@Vodkantots: Did you know that you can get kicked out of a gym for using a laser to point out areas people should work on? Well, you can.
@AndyAsAdjective: the early bird gets the worm & so does this dance floor of unsuspecting wedding reception guests when my jam comes on
@psychogoddess: How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time.