@Jennarater: Practiced my breakup on my cats last night and today they are gone.
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@caribbeankris: I've kept my tamagotchi alive for the past 15 years, so yeah Mom, I know what it's like to raise an "ungrateful little prick"
@sara_ashlynn: My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids.
@BriarSlyMalice: I told my kids I'd rather they "pull the plug" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger.