@Jennarater: Practiced my breakup on my cats last night and today they are gone.
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@WilliamRodgers: TRUE STORY Just made this restaurant change its "All you can drink Brunch" Policy.
@ReeseButCallMeV: My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever.
@PerfectPending: Please do not compare your dog problems to parenting. Your dog cannot say your name 3,258 times in a day.
@bridger_w: I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done