@michaeljhudson: Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!
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@KyleMcDowell86: ME: Cant sleep. Theres too much going on in the world MY WIFE: Whats bothering u? ME: If Garfield didnt have a job, why did he hate Mondays?
@TheAlexNevil: "Oh sure. Go down bout a mile, left at the store that's not there anymore, & past the big tree. Can't miss it." -every gas station attendant
@RandomAntics: Sneaking into your house and eating just enough of the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms to make you sad, but not suspicious.