@michaeljhudson: Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!
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@GayDeceiver: Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his "roommate" of 20 years.
@withanewname: "Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees" "DAD?!" [next day] "Where you going with that broom handle?" "Checkin for squirrels"
@KalvinMacleod: ME: ur more likely to get hit by lightning than eaten by a shark SHARK: [biting my torso] today's your lucky day ME: *gets hit by lightning*