@michaeljhudson: Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!
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@hipchkk: Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone.
@bobvulfov: KENNEDY: lets keep our affair a secret MARILYN MONROE: ok i'll sing happy birthday all sexy & weird at ur bday K: pls dont MM: *winking* ok
@KalvinMacleod: A recent study states that people should only shower every 3-4 days. “Stop being an idiot,” said one wife who lives in my house.
@notacroc: Me: my grandfather was George Washington Date: don't you mean your great great great great great great grandfather Me: i mean he was okay