@alizmay: Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.
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@One_FineMess: I don't understand why New Years Eve is such a big deal. I get drunk and tell myself lies all the time. Who needs a special day for that?
@daemonic3: Hey girl, do you like bad boys? [drinks milk from carton] Or REALLY bad boys? [eats spoonful of yogurt one day after expiration date]
@klickitatstreet: I'd only marry someone if they seemed like they'd be pretty easygoing during our divorce.