@alizmay: Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.
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@vxlk: All dates are 'blind dates.' The biological structure of fruit plants do not allow eye growth, therefore rendering them incapable of sight.
@JohnsonDiaz21: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
@PeachCoffin: When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she'd hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old