@alizmay: Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.
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@hippieswordfish: when i found out i won the World's Saddest Man award i became slightly happy and was immediately stripped of my title
@MelvinofYork: Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am.
@DebraMuffin: No thanks, cosmetics lady. I'm years past 'bare & natural'. Save us both some time & show me the stuff you'd need to prep & refinish a wall.