@TheRealPacino: President Donald Trump falls to his knees, he clasps the strong bronze tanned hand of Don Corleone, and kisses it;…
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@envydatropic: There's something mentally wrong with people who ask other parents if their baby isn't the cutest baby they've ever seen
@armyVet1972: I think tomorrow I'm going to respond to everyone using only lyrics from songs by The Dead Deads. Wish me some luck at the DMV.
@Introvert_Dad: *wife puts down dinner plate* *single pea rolls off plate* Me: oh no we have an esca-pea Wife: Me: I don't care I think it's still funny
@Snarfernini: I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.