@TheRealPacino: President Donald Trump falls to his knees, he clasps the strong bronze tanned hand of Don Corleone, and kisses it;…
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@FeelingEuphoric: *gazing up at stars* Her (whispering): is that the Big Dipper? Me (a barista): actually the technical term for it is Venti Dipper
@HatfieldAnne: *person walks past me minding his business and not bothering me in any way* “What's this idiot doing?”
@YayForAnxiety: Me: "Hello? Yeah hi I'm calling about your commercial where the woman looks really happy cleaning the kitchen, what's her number?"