@TheRealPacino: President Donald Trump falls to his knees, he clasps the strong bronze tanned hand of Don Corleone, and kisses it;…
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@birbigs: It's sad that a few fake Nigerian princes have ruined it for all the good Nigerian princes who are just looking to wire 24 million dollars.
@HeavyRaines17: Worst thing about smoking marijuana nightly is the strong desire to also smoke it morningly, lunchly, afternoonly and allthetimely.
@DirtMcTurd: *Pulls up to drive-thru window* "Extra toilet paper please" Do you mean napkins? "Sure, whatever"
@trojansauce: [watching the little mermaid] NEPHEW: mermaids arent real SISTER: not in front of your uncle- ME *slamming down my beer* I KNOW WHAT I SEEN