@KentWGraham: “Press the cube root of the 11th digit of pi divided by .5 and doubled if you’d like to speak with a customer service representative.”
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@Parentpains: Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic.
@HeidiCF8: Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake.
@Donna_McCoy: Trainer: Diet to hit your goal weight. Me: Then what? Trainer: Diet forever to maintain it. Me: *heading to Pizza Hut* Nvm.
@jergarl: Me: *breaks down door Wife: WTF ARE YOU DOING? M: HOME INVASION! W: OMG stop breaking our house when you want sex. M: Soooooo W: No