@KentWGraham: “Press the cube root of the 11th digit of pi divided by .5 and doubled if you’d like to speak with a customer service representative.”
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@SarahThyre: During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.
@vikkaroni: My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
@Flattliner: The last time Twitter was down I was forced to speak to real people. Real people go on and on and on and on, for way over 140 characters...