@treywafer: Press "three" for Spanish, and press "fo" for Ebonics
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@shutupmikeginn: Girl on my bus has a therapy dog with a marked vest and I was like, "what kind of therapy is he in?" because of course I said that
@Matt_the_1st: Who me? Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.
@leathershirts: the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music
@TommyWallace: [First date] okay just dont let her know you're a trump supporter Her: so what kinda wine should I get Me: haha white is always the best