@Ryan_Patricks: Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
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@panmidwest: IMPROV COACH: you can't just decide last minute to skip practice ME: I really don't know what you want from me
@rickkondell: Things that don't kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
@usermcuserface: Manager to waiter: Wait for it.. Wait for it.. (Sees me take a huge bite of food) Go! Go! Go! Waiter: so how is everything today?