@jimmytorosian: Pretty arrogant of Red Delicious Apples to put "delicious" in their name. Like calm down. You're still just an apple. You ain't no prize.
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@SirEviscerate: *joins Buddhist monastery* *withstands 21 years of brutal kung-fu training* So, vending machine that didn't drop my funyuns. We meet again.
@MisterBombay: Whenever I'm waiting for an elevator & the door finally slides open I pretend I'm on a Game Show & just won a group of people
@Parentpains: If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.