@ImFordTough: Pretty awesome how you can buy chocolates on February 13th and everyone assumes you have a girlfriend & not a grudge w/ your neighbor's dog.
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@T_N_Crumpets: *Bruno Mars on the radio* Wife: Would you catch a grenade for me? Brain: Just say, YES! Me: Has the pin been pulled? Brain: Idiot!
@findmydolls: It's cute that kids think they're safer with the light on, when actually it makes you more vulnerable and easier to spot.
@Moldy_Jellybean: Just when I manage to convince myself that I am a superior and more intelligent being, I walk into a door.
@jlock17: I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.