@robdelaney: Pretty cool that the letters "B.J." stand for the two greatest things in the world: beef jerky & Billy Joel.
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@usermcuserface: Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight.
@SirFlushaLot: I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes
@goodersuk74: I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely