@shegotagronk: Pretty cool that there's no law saying you can't name your kid Squidward if you want.
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@ninjadinosaur1: I dunno Discovery Channel, if you think crabs are the deadliest thing you can catch, you've obviously never slept with my sister Ashley.
@simoncholland: Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
@markydoodoo: If you press this button, you will get a piece of cheesecake but one person on earth will die so- *me already pressing button* sorry, what?
@AndyAsAdjective: A lot of people ask me "why do you lie about the high number of people asking you things?"