@mutedclamor: Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: how is it outside? me: windy. almost blew one kids hat off and some guy's trying to figure out how to get his smart car out of a tree
@Ally__Jam: I've bought tickets to all One Directions upcoming gigs.They're not my cup of tea but the tickets say The Doors open at 7:15 and i love them
@ibid78: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" *sighs* "Because I'm a sweater" "BECAUSE YOUR A SWE- hehe yeah that's weird but no. Tail light's out."
@JBelk78: You think I'm over dramatic? When an octopus gets upset, it eats itself. THAT'S over dramatic.