@mutedclamor: Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
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@spicy_peen: How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
@novicefather: I enjoy jogging in the mountains because nature is beautiful and cardiac arrest excites me.
@iDontWannaBeYhu: Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski.