@jordan_stratton: Pretty sure California's water crisis could have been solved with the number of dropped ice cubes that I've lazily kicked under the fridge.
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@DaddyJew: Waitress: what will it be? Me: I'll have the rum cake but with the rum on the side W: so u want a glass of rum & a cupcake? M: yes please
@TheAlexP: * wishes on shooting star " the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again"
@shariv67: Him "You run like a gazelle." Me "I'm graceful?" Him "No. You'd be easy prey for a mountain lion."