@jordan_stratton: Pretty sure California's water crisis could have been solved with the number of dropped ice cubes that I've lazily kicked under the fridge.
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@thejessbess: Are they Milk Duds? Cuz I'm definitely not getting in your van for some stupid Milk Duds.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter comedian: I'm the greatest tweeter alive! Kanye: Even I don't want that title.
@hamspamtymaam: Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch.
@trentistweeting: "Go out there, kid! Make a name for yourself-" JAMARCUS McTHUNDERNUGGETS THE THIRD "Trent that's not really what i-" It's Jamarcus now