@AimeeHelene1: Pretty sure HR is going to be paying me a visit, thanks to the CW that emailed to thank me for "all the services I provided them".
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@anerdonfire2: The worst thing about that mime stealing my woman was when he silently laughed at me
@garrettbarry70: [At job interview] M. "No, English is my second language." I. "What's your first language then?" M. "Emoji."
@caliraingirl: Everyone should have that "tester" first twitter account to screw up and learn from... You know, kinda like that first child you have.
@juliussharpe: I don't understand why people always fight becoming a zombie or vampire. Both seem awesome because you don't have to have a job.